Dweezil Zappa Return Of The Son Of...
- FormatM4A
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"Andy"
Is there anything good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there?
Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know-woh-oh-oh-oh
Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know, really wanna know...
Something
Anything
Something
Anything
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Andy de vine (de vine)
Had a thong rind (rind)
It was sublime (sublime)
But the wrong kind
Andy de vine (de vine)
Had a thong rind (rind)
It was sublime (sublime)
But the wrong kind
Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind
Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind
Oh Andy...
Andy
Andy, Andy
Thong rind
It was sublime, y'all know
The wrong kind, yeah-hah-hah-hah!
Our man!- FormatM4A
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"Magic Fingers"
Ooh, the way you love me, lady,
I get so hard now I could die
Ooh, the way you love me, sugar,
I get so hard now I could die
Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size
Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size
Ooh, the way you squeeze me, baby,
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes
Ooh, the way you squeeze me, girl,
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes
Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size
Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size
Oh, do you really wanna please me?
You know I do, baby
Well, tell me why you do it
I really wanna know
Oh, no, no, I wouldn't be right
For me to tell you tonight
You better tell me right away
Or I pack up and go!
Don't get mad
It ain't no big thing
You better tell me right away,
Don't you treat me cold
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
Well, there are a lot of reasons why I'd . . . I'd drag a girl such as yourself back to this . . . plastic hotel room and . . . rip you off for spare change to run a . . . to run a vibrating machine attached to this queen-size, bulk-purchase, kapok-infested, do-not-remove-tag-under-penalty-of-law type bed and . . . and make you take off all your little clothes . . . until you are nearly STARK RAVING NUDE! (Save for your chrome-with-heavy-duty-leather-thong Peace Medallion, heh . . . ) And make you assume a series of marginally erotic poses involving . . . a plastic chair and . . . an old guitar strap while I . . . did a wee-wee in your hair and . . . beat you with a pair of tennis shoes . . . I got from Jeff Beck- FormatM4A
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"Broken Hearts Are For Assholes"
Hey! Do you know what you are?
You're an asshole!
An ASSHOLE!
Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole
Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try
And Dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
Was his name...
One Two Three Four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR
And so you kissed a little sailorTex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:
Who had just blew in from Spain
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
Then on Tuesday night, Ceasar's back in town
In a way you can't explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With Kona.
And so you worked the wall with Michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic Hell
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
Next Thursday, teen town's finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an assholeNow you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole
You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)Aw, I knew you'd be surprised.
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"Bamboozled By Love"
Bamboozled by love,
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
Bamboozled by love
Oh lord, the shit done hit the fan
The way that girl been carryin' on
I swear I just don't understand
Don't you know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
Now don't you know I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
I came home the other day and she was
Suckin1 off some other man
I ain't the type for beggin'
I ain't the type to plead
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
She ain't gonna have no head at all
Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
Now I am mad and gettin' meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you have not seen her
She is underneath the lawn
I said she's underneath the lawn, lawn, lawn
Now look I ain't the type for beggin'
I ain't the type to plead
If she don't change those evil ways
I'm gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don't give me what I want
She gonna have no head at all
Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love, oh lord
I said she fooled too long
Now I am mad and gettin' meaner, meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you have not seen her, seen her
Is she is underneath the lawn- FormatM4A
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"Montana"
[backing vocals Tina Turner & The Ikettes]
I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental Floss
Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
That I can sell uptown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
To somebody else... but then, on the other hand I would
Keep the wax
'N melt it down
Pluck some Floss
'N swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top (that's why I'm movin' to Montana)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon (yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all
Afternoon...
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way
I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big,
An' ride him all along the border line
With a
Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Well I might
Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd
Get a cuppa cawfee
'N give my foot a push...
Just me 'n the pygmy pony
Over by the Dennil Floss Bush
'N then I might just
Jump back on
An' ride
Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)- FormatM4A
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"Inca Roads"
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something
DifferentEhh, Por favorI'm Telling Ya...Su ChallecosI was out by the lake...Ahh PeligroBilly Was A MountainA Full Moon...Pu-adeSomethin' Flew Across...Little Moustache...Eddie Are You Kidding?
Mother Mary and Jozef!
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself
Park it
Se-e-e-elf
(PARK IT . . . PARK IT)
Or did someone
Build a place
To leave a space
For such a thing to land
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle come
From somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was she round
And did she have a motor
Or was she something different
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura,
Or did someone build a place
Or leave a space for Chester's Thing to land
(Chester's Thing . . . on Ruth)
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up her hill
On Ruth
On Ruth
That's Ruth- FormatM4A
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Disc 2 Track 1
"The Torture Never Stops"
Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes and scratch their matted hair
A tiny light from a window hole a hundred yards away
Is all they ever get to know about the regular life in the day;
An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
Slime 'n rot, rats 'n snot 'n vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly soldiers, man, holdin' spears by the iron door
Knives 'n spikes 'n guns 'n the likes of every tool of pain
An' a sinister midget with a bucket an' a mop where the blood goes down the drain;
An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.
Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig in a chamber right near there
He eats the snouts 'n the trotters first
The loin's 'n the groin's is soon dispersed
His carvin' style is well rehearsed
He stands and shouts
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
And disagree, well no-one durst
He's the best of course of all the worst
Some wrong been done, he done it first
(Well, well) An' he stinks so bad, his bones been chokin'
(Yeah) 'N weepin' greenish drops,
(Well) In the night of the iron sausage,
(Well) Where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.
Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Who are all those people that he's locked away up there
Are they crazy?,
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?,
It has never been explained since at first it was created
But a dungeon like a sin
Requires naught but lockin' in
Of everything that's ever been
Look at hers
Look at him
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in- FormatM4A
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Disc 2 Track 2
"Dirty Love"
Give me
Your dirty love
Like you might surrender
To some dragon in your dreams
Give me
Your dirty love
Like a pink donation
To the dragon in your dreams
I don't need your sweet devotion
An' I don't want your cheap emotion
Whip me up some dragon lotion
For your dirty love
Your dirty love
Give me
Your dirty love
Like some tacky little pamphlet
In your daddy's bottom drawer
Give me
Your dirty love
I don't believe you never seen
His book before
I don't need no consolation
I don't want your reservation
I only got one destination
An' that's your dirty love
Your dirty love
Give me
Your dirty love
Just like your mama
Make her fuzzy poodle do
(Oh, Frenchie...)
Give me
Your dirty love
The way your mama
Make that nasty poodle chew
I'll ignore your cheap aroma
And your little-bo-peep diploma
I'll just put you in a coma
With some dirty love
Some dirty love
That dirty love
That dirty love
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Not a speck of cereal!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Nothing but the best for my dog!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Come on!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Little paws sticking up!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Little curly head!)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Little curly tail!)- FormatM4A
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Disc 2 Track 3
"Zomby Woof"
Three hundred years ago
I thought I might get some sleep
I stretched myself out on a antique bed
An' my spirit did a midnite creep
You know I'll never sleep no more
It seem to me that it just ain't wise
Didja ever wake up in the mornin'
With a ZOMBY WOOF behind your eyes
Just about as evil as you could be
I am the ZOMBY WOOF
I'm that creature all the ladies been
Talkin' about
I am the ZOMBY WOOF
They all seek for shelter when I come chargin' out
Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF
Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is...
Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF
Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF
They said aw-reety
An' they was aw-righty
An' I was a Zomby for you, little lady...
I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my Zomby Toof
My right foot's bigger than my other one is
Like a reg'lar Zomby Hoof
If I raid your dormitorium
Don't try to remain aloof...
I might snatch you up screamin' through the window all nekkid
An' do it to you on the roof, don't mess with the
ZOMBY WOOF
I am about as evil as a Boogie Man can be!
Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF
Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the ZOMBY WOOF- FormatM4A
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Disc 2 Track 4
Billy The Mountain
BILLY the Mountain
BILLY the Mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
With his stunning wife ETHELL,
A tree!
A tree!BILLY was a mountain
ETHELL was a tree
Growing off of his shoulderBILLY was a mountain
(BILLY was a mountain!)
ETHELL was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder
(ETHELL was a tree growing off of his shoulder)
(hey, hey hey!)Billy had two big
Caves for eyes,
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up 'n down,
And whenever it did,
He'd puff out some dust,
And hack up a boulder
(HACK!)
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK!)
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK! HACK!)
Up a boulderNow, one day, now I believe it was on a Tuesday, a man in a checkered double-knit suit drove up in a large El Dorado Cadillac, leased from BOB SPREEN...
("Where the freeways meet in Downey!")
. . . And he laid a HUGE, BULGING ENVELOPE right at the corner of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, that was right where his 'foot' was supposed to be.
Now, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it! All those postcards he'd posed for, for ALL OF THOSE YEARS, and finally, now, AT LAST, his Royalties!
Royalties!
Royalties...
Royalties!
Royalty check is in, honey!Yes, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN was RICH! Yes, and his eyeball-caves, they widened in amazement, and his jaw (which was a cliff), well it dropped thirty feet!
A bunch of dust puffed out! Rocks and boulders hacked up, (hack! hack!) crushing 'The LINCOLN'!
I gave him the money
He acted real funny
He hocked up a rock and
It TOTALLED my car!Oh, do you
Know any trucks
Might be bound for THE VALLEY?
I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
(Dear Lord)I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar
(No shit!)I don't wanna stand here
All night in this bar!By two o'clock, when the bars are already closed down, BILLY had broken 'THE BIG NEWS' to ETHELL. And with dust and boulders everywhere, BILLY, choked with excitement, announced...
"ETHELL, we're going on a VACATION!"
Yes, and they WERE going on a vacation! (Oh, and ETHELL, ETHELL, ETHELL, like every little woman, she of course was very excited! She creaked a little bit, and some old birds flew off of her.) BILLY told ETHELL they were going to... Yes! They were going to NEW YORK!
"ETHELL, we're going to... New York!"
But first they were gonna stop in LAS VEGAS...
It's off to LAS VEGAS
to check out the lounges
Pull a few handles,
And drink a few beers,
(Oh, ETHELL!)ETHELL, my darling,
you know that I love you!
I'm glad we could have a
Vacation this year!
(Oh, NEET-O!)Glad we could have a
Vacation this year!They left that night, crunchin' across the Mojave Desert... their voices echoing through the canyons of your minds (POO-AAH!)
"ETHELL, wanna get a cuppa cawfee?"
(Howard Johnson's! Howard Johnson's!
Howard Johnson's! Howard Johnson's!)"Ahhh! there's a HOWARD JOHNSONS! Wanna eat some CLAMS?"
The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE...
And TO THIS VERY DAY, 'Wing Nuts' and Data Reduction Clerks alike, speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when TEST STAND #1 and THE ROCKET SLED ITSELF... (We have ignition!)... got LUNCHED! I said LUNCHED! (Lunched!) By a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL, WOODEN WIFE.
"Word just in to the KTTV News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a San Joaquin Valley SMUT RING! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent NARCOTICS CRACK-DOWN, in Torrance, Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, Playa Del Rey, Santa Monica, Tujunga, Sunland, San Fernando, Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, Palmdale, Glendale, Irwindale, Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills,Cheviot Hills, will provide the SECRET EVIDENCE the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a CRIMINAL INDICTMENT, and pave the way for STIFFER LEGISLATION, increased FEDERAL AID, and AVERT A CRIPPLING STRIKE of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE..."
WITHIN THE WEEK, Jerry Lewis had hosted a Telethon ("Wah wah wah, nice lady!") to raise funds for the injured (injured...) and homeless (homeless...) in Glendale, as BILLY had just levelled it, and, a few miles right outside of town, BILLY caused a 'Oh Mein Papa' in the Earth's crust, right over the SECRET UNDERGROUND DUMPS (right near the 'Jack-In-The-Box' on Glenoaks) where they keep the POOLS OF OLD POISON GAS, and OBSOLETE GERM BOMBS, just as a FREAK TORNADO cruised through...
Yes, it was about three o'clock in the afternoon when little Howard Kaplan was sitting on his porch ( "Toto...!") just playing ( "Come on, Toto...!") and having a nice time with his little accordion ("Toto...!"), and this weird wind came up ("Toto...!"), direct from Glendale ("Toto...! Toto...!"), blowing these terrible germs in his direction ("Come here, Toto...!"), and all of this caused ("Toto...!") by a huge mountain ("Aunty Em!")!
"Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly..."
...sucking up two thirds of it (SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!) for UNTIMELY DISPERSAL over VAST STRETCHES of WATTS!!!
Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside of Columbus, Ohio when BILLY received his NOTICE TO REPORT for his INDUCTION PHYSICAL. Now, lemme tell ya, ETHELL said, now ETHELL, ETHELL said she wasn't gonna let him go!
"I'm not gonna let you go, BILLY!"
"THAT'S RIGHT! We now have CONFIRMED REPORTS from an INFORMED ORANGE COUNTY MINISTER, that ETHELL is still an ACTIVE COMMUNIST, and it is This Reporter's Opinion that she also practices (COVEN!) WITCH-CRAFT!"
It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the SECRET BRIEFCASE belonging to THE ONE MORTAL MAN who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save 'AMERICA HERSELF'! (And I'm sorry to disappoint some of you, it was not Chief Reddin) This one MAN was STUDEBAKER HOCH, fantastic new SUPER HERO of the CURRENT ECONOMIC SLUMP.
(Oh) Now, some folks say he looked like (he was like, he was like) ZUBIN MEHTA (Zubin Mehta); still others say (others say he), bullshit, honey (bullshit, man) he's just another greasy guy who happened to be born next to the Frozen Beef Pies at BONEY'S MARKET. (Others say he was just a, just a) Still others say, John, piss on you, Jack! (crazy Italian) He's just a crazy Italian who drove a RED CAR. You see (nobody knows for sure 'cause he was so), nobody ever really knew for sure, because STUDEBAKER was so-o-o-o-o-o mysterious (mysterious)...
HE WAS SO
(He was so, he was so!)
MYSTERIOUS!HE WAS SO
(He was so, he was so!)
MYSTERIOUS!'Cuz when a person gets to be
Such a HERO, folks,
And MARVELOUS BEYOND COMPUTE,
You can never REALLY TELL
About a GUY LIKE THAT
(Whether he's really a NICE PERSON
Or if he just SMILES A LOT),
(What?)
Or if he has a son named 'PINOCCHIO',
Or what?Whether he's really a NICE PERSON or if he has a son named 'PINOCCHIO' or what?
Some men say he could FLY
Some men say he could SWIM
Others say he could SING (like NEIL SEDAKA),
And all the girls in FLUSHING
Would be AMAZED of HIM
(Two, Three!)
AMAZED of HIM!
(Amazed!)
(Amazed!)Time passes...
January, February, March, July...
Wednesday...
August...
Irwindale...
...2:30 in the afternoon, Sunday, Monday...
Funny Cars!
Walnut!
Friday
City of Industry...
Big John Mazmanian!So when the phone rang
In the secret briefcase,
A strong masculine hand
With a Dudley Do-Right wristwatch
And flexy bracelet
GRABBED IT
And answered
In a deep, calmly assured voice:"So... ah... yeah, yeah, hello already... what?... Well, yeah?... Ah, are you kidding...? You're not kidding... a mountain...? With a tree growing off of its shoulder...? Aw, you're fulla shit, man... ah, listen, by the way, before I go on; did you get those white albums I sent ya with the pencil on the front...? Yeah...? Yeah, you should move some of those for me, we're having a lot of... listen, so kiss little Jakee on the head... and, ah, how's your wife's hemorrhoids? Oh, that's too bad... Listen... so you've got a mountain, with a tree, listen, causing... oh, my! Well, let me write this down... sorta take a few notes here... yeah...? To El Segundo, huh? Causing UNTOLD DESTRUCTION? (my baby, my baby) Wanted for DRAFT EVASION? An expense account? And per diem, too?"
SOME MEN SAY HE COULD DANCE!
They said he could DANCE, and, of course, THEY were right! Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it: THE STUDEBAKER HOCH DANCING LESSON & COSMIC PRAYER FOR GUIDANCE featuring Aynsley Dunbar, hit it!
Hey! Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly!
Fillmore, Fillmore, Fillmore, Fillmore...Hey!RIGHT HAND FROM THE HEART-UH
LEFT HAND FROM THE HEART-UH
RIGHT HAND FROM THE HEART-UH
LEFT HAND FROM THE LEFT SHOULDER
TO THE HEART-UhFillmore, Fillmore, Fillmore, Fillmore...
NOBODY can DANCE like STUDEBAKER HOCH! So many rumors have spread about STUDEBAKER HOCH! (A rumor... a rumor...) Consider this rumor (a rumor...), which was published (a rumor...) about three weeks ago in ROLLING STONE!
Oh, it's gotta be true!
STUDEBAKER HOCH can write THE LORD'S Prayer on the head of a pin!
"NO!"
Do-do-do-do-do,
Doot-doot-do DO DO DO!
Do-do-do-do-do,
Doot-doot-do DO!
etc.(I'm so HIP!)
BEEF PIES!
He was born next to the BEEF PIES,
Underneath JONI MITCHELL'S autographed picture,
Right beside ELLIOT ROBERTS' big Bank Book,
Next to the boat
Where CROSBY flushed away all his stash
And the cops
Got him in the boat and drove away
To THE CAN
Where Neil Young slipped another discFROZE-ing by the PIES!
FROZE-ing by the PIES!
FROZE-ing by the PIES!(And that was the main influence on HIM!)
The influence of a Frozen Beef Pie!
Boldly springing into action, he phoned his wife (who ran a modeling school), WHEREUPON HE... yes, HE ran around the back of 'THE BROADWAY' at Hollywood Boulevard and Vine to see if he could find himself some big large, un-used cardboard boxes (no shit!)
After which, he hit up the RALPH'S on Sunset for some 'AUNT JEMIMA SYRUP', some 'KAISER BROILER FOIL', and a pair of blunt scissors! Hey-hey!
Yes! Yes, and in the parking lot of RALPH'S, where "no prizes are lower prizes than RALPH'S," in the parking lot of RALPH'S (in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking), he cut out some really, really, really NICE WINGS, and he covered them thoroughly with foil!
Thorough-LY wi-TH (e-e-e-e-e) FOIL-L-L!
Then he took those 'WINGS' and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth...
YES!! Yes! And then he SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR! And he pulled down his blue denim policeman type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of AUNT JEMIMA maple syrup all over the inside of his legs!
Soon the booth was filling with flies!
(Help me, help me, help me!)
He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in (Yes! Yeah!), and when each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his pants, and they were lapping up all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive, RON HUBBARD-type voice...
"NEW YORK!"
...and the booth and everything lifted up, out of the parking lot, and into the sky!
STUDEBAKER HOCH
YEAH, YEAH
STUDEBAKER HOCH
STU-DE-BAKER HOCH!STUDEBAKER HOCH
YEAH, YEAH
STUDEBAKER HOCH
STU-DE-BAKER HOCH!He's coating his legs
With AUNT JEMIMA syrup up and down!His shorts'll be filled with flies
That will be buzzing all around!Stoodlabaker Hoch:
He's really outa sight!
Stoodlabaker Hoch:
He does it every night!
Stoodlabaker Hoch:
He treats the flies all right
STOODLA-BAKER HOCH
That's why they never bite, hey!(Please to New York!
Fly to New York!)He could be a DOG
Or a FROG
Or a LESBIAN QUEEN!(Fly to New York!)
He could be a NARK
Or a LADY MARINE!Or he might play dirty!
He's OVER THIRTY!
(Getting old? Say! I don't know!)His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
'Cause ETHELL is gone
They keep leading him on
'Cause ETHELL is gone
And THE MOUNTAIN she's onAnd speaking of mountains, we'll join STUDEBAKER HOCH on the edge of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN's mouth. Take it away:
"Ah...ya, ya, ya, hey-ah BILLY, ah, listen...I've come to REASON with you! Our GREAT COUNTRY needs you in the Armed Forces! Your NUMBER came up...you can't go on running like this forever."
Oh! But ETHELL just shook her twigs angrily, but STUDEBAKER HOCH, calm, cool, collected, and UN-ferturbed, continued...
"Ya, well listen, you (cough cough)... listen, you COMMUNIST SON-OF-A-BITCH! You better get your ass down there for your fuckin' physical, or I'll see to it that you get used for FILL DIRT in some impending New Jersey MARSH RECLAMATION... and your girl-friend there will wind up disguised as a series of brooms, primitive ironing boards (or a DOG HOUSE)... get the (cough, cough), GET THE PICTURE?"
Yeah, well, BILLY just laughed:
"HO, HO, HO! If they think they're gonna draft ME, they're CRAZY!"
Unfortunately, because STUDEBAKER HOCH was standing on the edge of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN's mouth when the giant mountain laughed, STUDEBAKER HOCH lost his footing and fell, screaming, two hundred feet into the rubble below!
"Aaahhhhh... oh fuck, I'm gonna need a TRUSS..."
Oh, listen, that only goes to show you, and it'll show you once again that...
A Mountain is something
You don't wanna fuck with
You don't wanna fuck with
Don't fuck around
(Don't fuck around)Don't fuck with BILLY (No!)
And don't fuck with ETHELL
(You saw what just happened
To the guy with the flies!)DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!With
Biddilly, Biddilly
Biddilly, Biddilly, BiddillyBIDDILLY
THE
MOUNTIN-INNNNNNN!(Eddie, are you kidding?)
Eddie, are you kidding?
- FormatM4A
- Bit Rate16
- Sample Rate44.1
Disc 2 Track 5
"Camarillo Brillo"
She had that
Camarillo brillo
Flamin' out along her head,
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red
She ruled the Toads of the Short Forest
And every newt in Idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in Buffalo
She said she was
A Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(I couldn't come in right then...)
And so she wandered
Through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room
Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
She stripped away
Her rancid poncho
An' laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An' it was useless any more
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(actually, I was very busy then)
And so she wandered
Through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room
Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
She said she was
A Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
(Is that a real poncho... I mean
Is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Hmmm... no foolin'...)- FormatM4A
- Bit Rate16
- Sample Rate44.1
Disc 2 Track 6
"Pygmy Twylyte"
Green hocker croakin'
In the Pygmy Twylyte
Crankin' an' a-coke'n
In the Winchell's do-nut Midnite
Out of his deep on a 'fore day run
Hurtin' for sleep in the Quaalude Moonlight
Green hocker in a Greyhound locker
Smokin' in the Pygmy Twylyte
Joined the bus on the 33rd seat
By the doo-doo room with the reek replete
Crystal eye, crystal eye
Got a crystal kidney & he's fraid to die
In the Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
After I loaded this CD on my car hard drive I loaned the CD to a young fella in the office and I’ve never seen the CD again! He must have liked it! I still like it!
Hadn't heard this version of Torture with this solo from Dweezil before. Really, really nice!